I’m just beginning to think…
That much of our lives are spent reacting, or responding, in such a way to compensate for our greatest weakness.
In other words, the person who is needy for community gathers community around themselves, the person who is afraid of being misunderstood over-communicates, etc. etc.
While the idea is not rocket-science, it does make me want to be sure that my responses to people and to life decisions are not simply “equal and opposite reactions” to an area that is flawed or needy within.
Over-reaction is neither helpful to the reactionary or the reactionee – it can unduly inflate emotions or create adversarial communications. reactions should be evaluated from time to time, as they expose what is really at stake in the underworld of our hearts.
Like pain in the body, over-reactions or over-responses are intended to be a guide to us, and indicator of internal fragility, focusing us on a point in the system that needs care and attention. In a sense, corners of the heart shout in order to get some regard.
I’m just beginning to think….
4 Comments
a great man once asked “could it be that everyone’s genius is coupled with everyone’s thorn …?”
i think you are right about over-compensating because of our own neediness … but there is something about God being fully expressed in the broken places in our lives. sometimes those are the places He expresses Himself best because He has the greatest access to us in those places.
also, don’t you think that it is profoundly good for the soul to sing ‘i am weak but He is strong’.
and finally … i’m all for being self-aware and sensitive to others so that our handicaps don’t hurt anyone … but, ah, to love oneself … and to know that we are loved … i believe that here-in often lies the redemption that we long for.
True words spoken, Tina.
okay dan, you’ve got to introduce me to tina – she wrote almost the exact words i was going to write. i think i’m still going to blog these thoughts today if i get a chance.
I think there are few things in our lives more powerful than a heart need…we can ignore and deny and control to a point, if we are strong and determined…but we are just waiting for the volcano to erupt. And it will. Unless we acknowledge and validate our hearts’ cries they will steer us and drive us. Or if we try and surpress them they will build up and explode all over us with such force that we all draw back in shock and horror.
I don’t know the theology of this, just have seen it over and over and over…
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