Yesterday, a bright, vibrant young leader, who has been a part of our St. Stephen’s University community as a student and as a travel term leader, and is dearly loved by many, took his life in a nearby city.
Today, we gathered as a community, stumbling over how to have any kind of “chapel service” in the wake of this tragedy. Another worship leader and I were poised at the ready, with a few songs that created an honest, lamenting space with God, and that had a focus on that which is never changing – God’s character.
Instead, at a key moment, our violinist, Matt Frise, was asked to play Gow’s Lament in the middle of the tears and sharing. As his notes soared high, they lilted into the hearts of the mourning like red leaves from an autumn tree, bringing comfort, and permission, to the spilling wounds of the heart.
Then Holli Durost and I played as folks were leaving, and her rich voice and honest creative expression seemed to further to weave in and out of the souls of those mingling about, creating an intangible space of rest for the heavy heart.
Then, a friend just emailed me to say that in the middle of last night, in a moment of questing for clarity in the face of this young man’s death, a phrase from a song I wrote over the past month became a piece of beauty she found solace within.
Beauty is a place to which we can go. It is a sanctuary without walls, a resting place without windows, a comforting place without hands.
John Eldredge suggested once that when his good friend Brent died, no words or encouragements could console him. However, beauty could.
In the face of great tragedy, allow beauty to heal.
As a musician and creative leader, be on call to share your gift for the common good.
8 Comments
this post was so beautiful, it made me cry.
I’m glad it spoke to you, Hannah.
Beauty seems to be a portal to God, in any expression fitting the context, and attending in the midst of any suffering.
I think beauty is the fragrance of God passing by, the brush of his cloak in the wind, the rustle of his presence in the now.
Any other thoughts on beauty?
thank you for your comments on beauty.
I believe I have unconsciously been searching for an explanation, a way of expressing my eclectic and incessant sights of beauty.
thank you.
I would like to add that it’s not solely in the midst of pain sorrow suffering that beauty consoles.
it takes my breath away
and fills my chest
and fills my belly
and fills my lungs
even on good days
a wondrous wondrous safe warm blankey.
thank you for post!
thanks for the gift of those phrases, Mary.
while in the grip of grief, i have found everything, including breathing, to be offensive. at first blush i wondered if i found your thoughts a bit pithy, but you’ve given me something to think about dan. i’m truly going to ponder this.
Maybe the post was more for those on the outside of grief, or on its periphery, rather than for those in the midst of it.
I wrestled with posting it because its fresh and real, and I don’t want to minimize it all by talking about it – but the drive to call others to help in this way (with music and beauty) felt important – I wrestle with confusion as to what to do with a gathering of people that is in mourning; this situation reminded me to not work so hard at it, but rather to create space with beauty for the heart to just “breathe.”
you’re a good heart dan … AND … i think it is good to go there. our culture doesn’t know how to be together over stuff like this and so we often just don’t. as you well know, some of the greatest works of art have come out of profound loss and suffering. how very relevant for that to be one of the things God would turn our hearts toward at a time of loss.
your worship gifts to suzanne eased her pain, my pain, and the pain of many others. the beauty of those times will stay with me forever.
all that to say thanks, t
as an outsider I feel the pain you are sharing in your post. There is no need to wrestle about it. I strongly think its important for a musician/artist or whatever to express the talents given to focus on beauty. As I think about it, I have a feeling that it is God’s way of coping with grief and loss. When we are able to create that space where God has the freedom to do His powerfull healing, we also recieve healing ourselfs. I know a piano player who has that gift. When she starts to play it feels like heaven is opening up and all the attention is drawn to God.
I pray for those who grief. May beaty heal you.
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