Another Sleepless Night

We all have our struggles, right? For Nero, it was psychotic delusions. For Van Gogh, it was the artist’s sometimes toxic power of perception. For me, it’s sleepless agitation and raging battles with hidden fear.

What brings on this act of self-disclosure? Another night of sleeplessness is upon me. A combination of too many jobs, too much on my mind, too much hi-vision talk too late at night, and a low tolerance for a little caffeine that put me over the edge.

Instead of lying in bed until 4 am (the common pattern on such nights), agitated and moving in and out of a quiet panic over the most hopeful of situations, I’ve decided to blog and create a place for others to know their own struggles are shared.

God is kind to me, but He rarely evidences it in rescuing me from these nights. I’ve noted that sometimes they fold into a deep state of prayer, and often revelation. At other times, I fall in love with my little family all over again. Still others, I’m drawn to pray for a few people for which I have faith. Still others, I simply fend off talons of fear and cry out to my silent God all through the night.

I hate these nights, quite honestly, but I’m learning to just keep moving forward. Sometimes I fear, as Churchill put it, the black dog will get me (depression), and keep me down. But for now, I trust.

Actually, writing some of this down, in such a public space as this blog, has been helpful. I might almost be feeling tired, if I let myself.


Sheltering Mercy and Endless Grace help us rediscover the rich treasures of the Psalms—through free-verse prayer renderings of their poems and hymns—as a guide to personal devotion and meditation. Sheltering Mercy helps the reader pray Psalms 1-75; Endless Grace leads in prayer through Psalms 76-150.

The church has always used the Psalms as part of its prayer life, and they have inspired countless other prayers. Each book contains 75 prayers drawn from the Book of Psalms, providing lyrical sketches of what authors Ryan Smith and Dan Wilt have seen, heard, and felt while sojourning there. Each prayer is a response to the Psalms written in harmony with Scripture. These prayers help us quiet our hearts before God and welcome us into a safe place amid the storms of life.

These artful, poetic, and classic devotional books are a perfect gift, and feature compelling stunning illustrations and hardcover binding, offering a fresh way to reflect on and pray the Psalms. Co-written with Ryan Whitaker Smith, Brazos Publishing.

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